I've learned that I am loved, even when it feels as if everything is falling apart and the world is seriously trying to fuck with me; I am loved and that knowledge grounds me. I'm going to screw up, I will trust the wrong people sometimes and occasionally take a left when it should have been right and I might even cry because fucking up hurts, but I won't have to do it alone. It's not just me anymore, walking along carrying my load of self inflicted responsibility with no one to catch me, I have people with names and faces with smiles when they see me, hands to hold as they walk beside me. I am not alone, I have family. For the first time in my life I actually know what that means and I trust and accept it into my life.
I forgot who I was for a hot minute, I looked away from my truth for a second, lost my light and fell right off the track and into the land of No-No. Wow! You would think that I would have remembered what happens when I deviate from my inner path, man, bad stuff always follows, clearly I did not listen and I fell off track but I'm back baby!! HAH! Take that universe!! I found myself again in the midst of the pain, fear and chaos and I looked inside. I quit looking all around me, turned back inwards in desperation, completely at a loss to understand why I was feeling so wretched and torn up and BAM! I found reality again. It always comes back to self, every single time I fall apart the reason is, without fail, a disconnect from self. It's all on me, it's my job to make sure I am connected to my center, that I am plugged into my core, listening with all my senses and staying true to who I am. Now, that's not to say that some external forces aren't trying t...
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