On the edge of hope.

I've been through a lot of shit, I've fucked up and I'm paying the price for it in high consequence. I didn't think I was going to get another chance to have what I want, what I need, so I'll be damned if I let the opportunity pass me by, whether I think I deserve it or not.

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Confession

I look at her, straddling an invisible line, poised on the edge of adulthood and struggle with my feelings. Pride wars with fear, anger and sadness battle a sense of awe and wonder while they are all overshadowed by a deep rush of love that only a mother comprehends. She is incredible, from the tiny little ball of arms and legs that the midwife placed in my arms to a stunning creature of light and laughter, somehow in the blink of an eye while I held my breath. Strong and stubborn, with a heart vast as the sea this child of my womb has evolved into a woman and my heart swells with pride to see her standing tall. I have no call to this happiness that rises up, her accomplishments are her own and rightly hers to claim, my joy lies in their sheer existence at all. Despite my lack, my absence and my utter ignorance, she has risen up, as the plant among the weeds grabbing for the sunlight to blossom in its warmth. She is glorious to behold, her laughter resonating in my bones and calling to...

Remember My Name

I forgot who I was for a hot minute, I looked away from my truth for a second, lost my light and fell right off the track and into the land of No-No. Wow! You would think that I would have remembered what happens when I deviate from my inner path, man, bad stuff always follows, clearly I did not listen and I fell off track but I'm back baby!! HAH! Take that universe!! I found myself again in the midst of the pain, fear and chaos and I looked inside. I quit looking all around me, turned back inwards in desperation, completely at a loss to understand why I was feeling so wretched and torn up and BAM! I found reality again. It always comes back to self, every single time I fall apart the reason is, without fail, a disconnect from self. It's all on me, it's my job to make sure I am connected to my center, that I am plugged into my core, listening with all my senses and staying true to who I am. Now, that's not to say that some external forces aren't trying t...

Unsettled

My routine got thrown off, I fucking hate it. I'm angry at all the barriers that keep popping up, the interfering little demons attempting to thwart me on my quest for happiness. Everytime I squash one of the little bastards another one pops up with an evil grin that makes me want to scream and choke the life out of it. Violent? Yup, that's how I feel right now, obsence amounts of angry towards anything that wants to get in my way. Who the fuck is sending them? The angry gods of anti-joy and goodness? What the everloving hell did I do to you? I've got attacks coming from all angles, trying to keep a vigilant watch but it's wearing me down. Seriously, I will find a way to vanquish the sadistic little minions back to whatever hell hole they crawled out of. Why do people think it's ok to fuck with my life? I don't try to control yours, what makes you think you have any right to muck around in mine, I didn't invite your meddling, that's for damn sur...

Don't Piss Off The Faerie

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