So many decisions to make, directions to go, a million thoughts swirling about this mess in my head. Always searching for the right move, swaying and twisting on this balancing act that is my life. Wondering if I have learned enough to finally grasp the dream I've been chasing. Doubt is knocking, no pounding on my door and she's a mean and vengeful bitch. I'm afraid, that pain is like no other and scars run deep, layered upon my soul. Gotta be strong, it's not just me to bear the consequences. The knowledge sitting on me with the strength borne of experience and I struggle not to cave under it's weight. Each day I have to remind myself that last night didn't kill me and I'm stronger for it. I have fought and lived and I will fight and live another day. Learning to embrace the joy that comes in each moment, bar the door against the fear that sneaks around corners all covered in gloom and breathing despair. Hell no, you are not catching me, I know what you are and I will not cower in your shadow.
I can do this, even when it hurts I can keep walking towards a better me. I will be true to myself, I will remember that I am worth every minute, every single drop of sweat, every limit pushed and every scar is a victory earned. I will not give up on myself or my dreams, I will not let other's cause me doubt, fear or pain. I will forgive myself for the pain I have caused and use it to fuel me to rise above. I will not let my pride stretch its bounds, I will offer recompense. I will not suffer fools or tolerate evil. I will learn from every fall and strengthen my faith and resolve. I will be the example for my children to see. I will be a life lived without apology. I am me and I will never stop fighting.
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